I LOVE JOE !!!!!!!!!

2009-07-31T10:08:00.000-07:00

After long thought, yeah i not going to blog i guess..

Is better to keep a diary or what. At least i can write off anything that is on my mind with no disturbance. I wouldn't care about anyone.

My idea, my thinking, my feeling, way complicated to understand. And i just can't vent everything on this bloody blog.

I don't need anyone to give me an advice. This is my life. And as i say, who should i care. I am living only for me. So off you go. Out of my world. I fucking pissed with all of this. Help?? Forget it...

FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!!
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!

Someday, i will leave all of these..

2009-07-29T14:22:00.000-07:00

I am so tired being a female. I mean male is better than female. Althought i may not be correct, but is my point of view.

-When male and female become fat, they can workout to go back shape. But for male, they can work harder and lose fat in the same time achieved a muscular body. And it not that bad. But for female, if we want to lose fat fast, we also cannot work too hard. Otherwise, we will get a bulky body. And it doesn't look too good if we are muscular, right??

-Male can earn more money than female. And some jobs require great physical strength. Do we have it??

-Both male and female can go shopping and there is no adavntage for us female too.

-Compare a male with pimple face and a female with pimples face. Who is at a disadvantages??? The answer is female. Girl will still want a boy with pimple but will a boy want a girl with pimples??

-Girl have bust and have to spend money buying bras. Wearing bras isn't that comfortable especially in a hot day. But why male don't have it. They will never understand what we goes through. All they like is that bloody bust.

-Females also have to goes through giving birth. No males will understand the pain. During this period, they lose their shapes. And some bloody assholes guy will have an affair outside.

-And the every month thing is a nuisance. Not only it waste money buying all the pads, it destroyed our moods, sometimes pains occur, no water activities and worse if it leak and people will be laughing.

-When we married, we will no longer be living with our parent. Worse case if had to live with the in-laws. If we can't get along, can we just go back and live with our parent? Yes, divorce. So what the used of getting married. And guys who are working outside will complain we are the ones giving problems to them. Why not they tried being a housemen and stay at homes doing all the chores and get along with our parent.

They never understand us. Or maybe deep enough. I hate being a woman. All those toturing things. WOMAN SUCK

2009-07-28T11:24:00.000-07:00

i feel so out of this world... There seem no connection between me and this bloody world. Nothing link us together.. My friends seem to had changed. Or maybe that is me alone that is changing.

I feel so weird. If only i could end all this..

2009-07-21T18:21:00.000-07:00

Today i told a lie.

Just not to worry them..

I run away from fact.

All i know i am sad.

I try everything to hide the truth...

2009-07-19T13:49:00.000-07:00

Today was joe's birthday. Happy birthday. =D

Anyway my godfather bought me magazines to read. Hmm i was never into magazine but that magazine he bought was nice. All those clothing, tips, i love it. Thank you =)

Mummy bought soya milk give me. Hahaha i love soya milk. It really good for me. Especially when i am a girl. It is good for neh neh. That what internet say. ^^ By the way, i read up on some book that soya milk help in sex. Haha i wonder it is true?

2009-07-18T15:39:00.000-07:00

I am feeling terrible this moment. My rash is back. And this time, worse!! My whole body is filled with itchy red dots. =( I can't help to scratch it. And everytime i do, it hurt more and more. How long can i still take it?? =[

I am bloody fucking itchy now. I feel like using a knife and peel off all red dot!! This is gonna killed me..

I hate it!!!!! Rashes you fucking off my body!!!! Go ass with ur red dots!!

2009-07-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

My foot still a lot. Especially the ankle... Did i sprain it???

Ouch Ouch =(

2009-07-14T21:40:00.000-07:00

Today was so tiring. Went out morning to do some documentary work. Then went home rest for awhile and evening time, i went for one round. Aww so tiring and my foot hurt. Having blister soon i guess. ^-^

And went point to walk around.

Boring. Gotta bath now. BYe :)

2009-07-12T21:00:00.000-07:00

Second Post...

Someone come my house today. My father's side people. Who is not so close to me.. Weird to actually come..

Even bought donut which i don't like. But it cute... Those donut have different pattern. Bought from Donut Empire.. But i just don't like the taste. Always make me feel like vomiting..

But i am so stupid to actually tried it. Haha =)

I took two bite because i want eat the bee on the donut. Haha but it still doesn't taste nice.

Okay. End my post now.

2009-07-12T11:48:00.000-07:00

I love high heels!!

I love dress!!

2009-07-09T21:56:00.000-07:00

I was GREATLY in LOVE!!

I truly love my koala bear. =D

I hug my koala bear all day and never wanted to let go.

My koala bear sooo cute. Just by looking at the cutie face make me happy. ^^

2009-07-07T19:05:00.000-07:00

Second post..

Yesterday, er kor pull father go buy new handphone. His phone was spoiled so no choice. He bought a new touch screeeeen phone. What the hack... NEW PHONE!!!! [Jealous..] >.<

He signed a new student plan. Which was quite cheap.

Father bought one too. Same model because he got voucher so he got it for free. But he didn't change to the new phone just changed his sim card.

And the phone was given to da kor!!! Both of my bro changed phone!! ( Biased )

However i get something too. I get the bro OLD starhub card. Hmm the contract wasn't over mah.

But i given to my mother... So i can contact her easily next time. Anyway i am sharing with her..

Complicated... Anyway it mean i got two number now. But mostly used is my old one lor. Troublsome to changed and changed.

Somemore my contract will end this nov. So going to signed a student plan too. =D

2009-07-07T18:43:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday HanBaoBao [ Joycelyn ]

2009-07-05T13:50:00.000-07:00

My 100 post!!!!

Joycelyn 's birthday coming up on 7 july. Happy birthday in advance!! =D Sorry this year can't celebrate with you plus no gift. Next year okay?? =P

I am really very tired. I can't get a good night sleep everyday. But that's nothing i can do about it. Just have to get used to it. I really need a good sleep...

I might be going back to school on 15 july. If everything goes well. Only problem now is whether i can walk ...

I need to shed off some weight.. I can't fit in my school skirt. Aww that's suck... Wonder how heavy i am now??

Am i still the same??

2009-07-02T17:04:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to my MUMMY!! =X

:D :D :D :D :D

I am not drinking enough water...

I feel weak...

2009-07-01T18:36:00.000-07:00

Countdown!!! ONE MORE DAY!!!!!!!! =D

Mummy i love you :D

I was pretty well le. Just yesterday night bleed again. My wound seriously need lots of care. Very scary lah. Middle of the night was bleeding so much... So scare infection. Infection need spend money go treatment. Then will not so soon get well. Some more is pain lah!!

My mother was very good to me. Buy pig stuff give me eat. Say will recover faster. But hor i so damm to scare lah. It doesn't teste nice at all and it will make me vomit. But i have no choice not to eat. Is my meal and my mother spend a lot of money buying it. She want me good i can't dissappoint her. So forced myself to finish it. And i was crying..

I poor thing right ?? Eat still have to cry... But i cry is not because i am forcing myself to eat. But i put a lot of chilli to cover the smell. Haha Fool anyone??? ^-^

Anyway for the ones for care about me. I am so touched thank you. I will be fine =D

Specially thank to elton =D
Wow indeed you remember me=) Thank for buying things for me. Haha ^^

Specially thank to joycelyn =]
Don't eat the sweet elton buy for me ARH!!!!!!!! Love you~~

2009-06-29T09:49:00.000-07:00

I am so happy. Didn't online these few days because i went to hospital. But i am not happy because i went hospital but i am happy because i can go back to school in 2 or 3 weeks time. But it still depend on my body. If it gets better fast, i can go back to school fast!!! Hurray =D

Now have to rest and rest. Althought i still can't run or played sport or do a lot of things, i can at least study and try to make it to sec 4. ^^

Anyway i still feel guilty. A lot of things had changed thank to me. I look at my parent, i felt i owe them. Never had felt so guilty before. Yet there nothing i can do to improve the situation. I must treat them well from now onwards. I swear i am not going to be foolish again. I will work hard for my parent, for me and ..... Be a good girl and never worried them again. (Trying my best..)

By the way, my mother's birthday coming!!!!!!!! Just 3 more days. I had already decided what to give her. A handmade with love birthday card and a SiewChin's VIP card!!! Haha this VIP card is a long term free massage card. So i will massage my mother for as long as she wants. Althought a bit childish but is from my heart. Because see her so tiring, so poor thing, my heart pain. So i will massage her and make her comfortable! Haha i am so clever =)

These few months, i see her take care of me, i so touched. We had become more bonded. I feel that i had take things for granted and never treasure what she had given to me. By this time, she already can rest but because of me... Althought i gain a more bonded kinship, i lost the time we used to be and causing her to work hard again...

So sorry to my beloved. I will never take things for granted and treasure it more.

2009-06-23T20:41:00.000-07:00

I am so tired...

2009-06-22T13:48:00.000-07:00

Went out yesterday but not to celebrate father's day. I wanted to go Kinokuniya. Fuck lah!!! Found the book i want but cost more than $20++ and need to order. Heartbroken lah....

Walk around at Liang Court... And there have this really cool shop... Cosplay shop. =D The dress and shirt plus skirt is damm cool!!!!!!!! Real emo type de lor. But is cute like those anime. So i make a decision. When i grow up, hope when i just turned 18 years old, i can have a photoshoot. ^^ Of course need a lot of money lah but i slowly earned lor. Haha always dream to wear those clothing!!!!!!!

I am a stupid, blur, idiot girl!!!! Can you believe i actually forgot to top up my phone credit and it have been expired!!!!!!!!! Fuck me lah inside still got $80++ and it just gone... What more?? I only realised it today while it had been expired for more than 5 days... Argh!!! How stupid can i be... $80 plus lor.. I also xin tong...

I am stupid!!!!!!!! Stupid!!!!!!!!! I am so blur. My money...

2009-06-20T10:42:00.000-07:00

Father's Day coming... As usual, i never get anything for him. It is always the same. My father gets nothing but my mother gets something. I am biased.. Haha..

I am so so bored.... I looking forward to shopping. I had so many things i want to buy. Most importantly, girl stuff!!! Haha=D

Rashes still the same. So not bothering to talk about it.

Looking for some good books to read. I really in the mood to read and read and read... Now looking for 2 books. Just not in the luck to borrow it. Wanted to buy one books. Check out popular but i just can't find. Got to go orchard to look for it. Someone say orchard got a very big bookstore. Hope to find what i want...

Life is always the same...

2009-06-16T19:34:00.000-07:00

I had a haircut... I really missed my hair. Only tell the hairdresser to make it not so thick and in the end, i lose about 3 to 5 cm. Now like so short lah.

Althought is lighter, but i still feel last time is better. Now?? Shoulder length again....

Shouldn't had listen to my mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It took me months to had my hair to grow!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now my hair a bit curly liao. Born curly so go reborn. Now cut le become curly!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want my hair back ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

Haha =D Anyone miss me?? I am really bored so i used the computer again. And because today was lucky??? I only took 4 times to switch on the computer, 2 times restarting the computer and 1 time hitting the monitor. Haha is already counted not bad as normally i would took hours just switching on the computer..

My rashes are horrible.

It is worse than last time. More itchy and red. So i really cannot tahan but to scratch it. I did try to control by using calamine lotion my mum bought to stop the itch but no use. Used brewed tea my mum make to cured it but to no avail. And finally i used ice to numb it but only for 1 to 2 hours..

Really very hideous now. My skin all broken. Dots of blood.. Skin also very rough liao..

No choice so went polyclinic see doctor. Doctor like scare or what. Only give to medicine to eat and say if the medicine no used, then must go hospital the next day.. Siao lor. See you because want you to cured me mah. So no used then see for what... Waste time and money. I also not having fever or cough...

Althought the medicine did stop the itch, but is not totally.. But because i not so rich, i haven't go hospital lah. Finish my medicine and if no effect then go hospital..

I really hate rashes....

2009-06-12T17:00:00.000-07:00

Finally get myself to blog again. I was very lazy to on that bastard computer. Always break down when i want used. Forget it, i am living well without it. Well... I guess this might to the last post for these few weeks. I give up switching on the computer. Anyway computer make me stupid...

Second breakout!!!!!!!!! Rashes came back again. Just today.. I hate rashes. Never had it before and now?? Twice in a year... So red and itchy.. Blame it on the ass weather... So hot making me having rashes. I swear i am going to earn lots of money and buy an air-conditioner. My father was partly to blamed. Changed house, and there goes my air con... Just hope rashes with get better again...

My pimples was kinda of weird. My mom had a dream. Dreaming this black weird pimples of mine become real big with hair growing out of it. Sooo i become the victim.. My mom helped to squeeze and poke and do lots of things to it. All equipment like needle, cotton buds, hot water and metal stick was in the used...However, the black stuff didn't come out and what come out is blood. Lots and lots of blood. But i didn't care lor. Not in the mood.. So in the end, we had no choice to leave it alone..

And today??? I actually squeeze that black things out without pain.. I must admit. It was big and black and HARD??!! Anyway is much better now. Lucky with that not bad skin i had...

Last important thing happened today. I had become the VIP of the toilet. Haha Congratulation to me. From morning until now, i had visited the toilet about 5 times le. I had a big big stomachache making me keep running to the toilet. Wonder what had i eat wrong. Nothing what... But still can't stop the pain and using the toilet... The time i spent there is longer than the time i eat or used computer lah...

Whatever lah... Hope every unlucky thing will stop and turn to good bah. Maybe not going to blog for weeks because i got real important things to care. So take care everyone. Love you=D

2009-06-06T11:40:00.000-07:00

Uploaded some pictures... Skip it if you want lah. Not important anyway..

See my pimples??

My bolster!!!!!!!!!

Just wake up from my afternoon nap...

SleepTime..

Some old pictures...

Deng Deng Deng Deng... End of Gallery =D

Upload more pictures when i took more... So boring..

2009-06-06T10:55:00.000-07:00

Didn't update my blog again. I very lazy sia. Anyway my brother keep want play so i also cannot play. Today was feeling moody. Nothing happened so i am dead... After stepping on dog poo, thought will win 4D arh. But so so unlucky, no... I wasn't lucky after all.. Chat with two bestie..

Bored now~ I am feeling so dead...

2009-06-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

So damm unlucky today!!!!!!!! Or rather too "lucky". Guess what?? I step on dog poo!!!!!!!!!! Freak whoever dog that left that poo poo around!!!!!!!!! So inconsiderate!!!!!!! Don't know how to clean poo poo then don't keep a dog lah. Or don't bring your dog out. Siao arh let your dog poo poo le then leave it around. Think you got free servant arh!!!!!!!! Make me step on it. One day you will step on your own dog poo poo!!!!!!!! So unhygenic!! This type of people must be punished!!! Because they just make several offences!!

Offence one : Leaving dog poo in public place ( unhygenic )
Offence two : Pollute public floor ( unhygenic! )
Offence three : Pollute someone 's shoes ( unhygenic!! )
Offence four : Never think of others ( inconsiderate)
Offence five : Selfess ( inconsiderate! )
For the above offences, he or she must be tortured with POO.

Ahhhhh idiot people!!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-01T22:24:00.000-07:00

Second Post..

Yozzzz Back to blog again... My mood is okay?? I guess. Anyway Olevel student today take chinese paper le. Yeah one subject done. Hope everyone taking O is doing fine. Especially to my second brother. Er kor!!! Must work hard arh. O need money de leh. Haha..

3 to 4 more weeks bah. I will be more busy and less blog le. Haha...Secret ^-^

2009-06-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

Don't know for why or what, givan is better now i guess. =D So happy. Taken a good time break bah...

Been dreaming about *** these few days. Aiyo... Don't know why suddenly will dream such thing. Since not going to think about it, should ban dreaming about it too. Haha

My life still the same. Happy-Go-Lucky. No stress nothing. All i want is to sleep and sleep... And eat. =P

Boring...

2009-05-31T12:49:00.000-07:00

These few days been thinking how i want my room to look like. Haha i had draw some sketch. It turns out not bad. So happy.. It will be neater and cleaner i guess. Anyway, this makeover for my room will not be successful soon. Because makeover need money mah. So i will only carry out this plan of mine when i had the money..

Givan mia liao... Waa miss her sia. Don't know why so emo. She like keeping everything to herself. Poor thing.. Hope she is better after her mia...

Givan my dearest. If you ever had the chance to read this, remember i will be there for you. Any problem you can tell me. I will help you if i can. Don't be sad over things anymore. Otherwise, wrinkles, white hair will come out de. Please be happy. All the best =D Love you..

2009-05-29T16:04:00.000-07:00

Today is last day of school. Everyone is going be so happy except how is their result.. Anyway it doesn't matter to me. Because is the same haha. Whatever may ended and june is coming. I am so looking forward to june. Something going to happen i guess. Haha so anxious.

My big plan of enjoyment must be carried out!!! Got lots of things wanted to do.

2009-05-28T18:46:00.000-07:00

Second Post..

Today is eat dumpling day. Yeah get to eat so many dumpling and now i am so full. I very traditional wor. I eat dumpling with tea. =D Yummy got black pepper flavour somemore. One year once only lor. Haha..

I am so looking forward to mooncake festival. So can eat mooncake. Mooncake so nice got super lots flavour. My favourite is colour skin de. Smell and taste nicer. Whatever it is, as long as it is mooncake i love it. Can simply eat more than 4 hor. Haha... I love festival. Got so many thing to eat and all of the food i need to wait for that particular festival then got.

Haha i also want eat tang yuan. Don't know what the english name lah. Round round de like ball.

I just love festival. My stomach love it!!!

2009-05-28T09:07:00.000-07:00

I think and think and feel so angry. I want to scold that stupid again. I mean this is my blog lah. What the crazy problem? Maybe i really do something wrong but even so, is also not her problem. As if what i had done will make her lose jobs, or go bankrupt or whatever...

Even if i really had done wrong, i don't feel that i am wrong anymore. Because i will take up the consequences and face the music. Whereas some people after doing the wrong thing, just don't care about it. They are the one that is wrong. If i really do wrong, i am learning a lesson. I will be responsible for anything i done.

So kpo about my problem for what... I do wrong my parent will lecture me. Wait long long for your time lah. My mother also haven't lecture me you come crap around. You so like lecture people business, go be teacher lor or lecturer lah. Lecture all you want. Kpo about people thing, go be police lah. Can open search people house somemore if you have the warranty.

As if you never do something wrong before. Everybody confirm will do something wrong before that why they will learn. I last time also pee when sleeping. My mother scold me le i learn and never pee at my pant again. See i learn!!! So what the big deal if i do wrong, as long as i learn.

Next time don't anyhow go kpo people business lah. And make clear before you scold people lah. I say **** and ass. All that is because i am angry being disturb while sleeping. Who will be so free like you. Siao..

2009-05-27T14:13:00.000-07:00

Crazy people lah. Come my blog speak nonsense. So bo liao go eat shit lah. Also never tell you to come my blog de lor. You want come still talk nonsense. Siao arh. Go mental hospital lah.

So what i scold you. You can don't come my blog de mah. This is my blog, i can scold you or say whatever i like. Otherwise i make a blog for what. Stupid! Coward don't even dare use real name. Ki siao...

Remove my tagboard i see how you tag. Bleah!!!

2009-05-26T14:30:00.000-07:00

Nowadays people all siao de. Including birds... Early morning scream scream scream. Think what ? Playing roller coaster arh!!! Crazy lah. Then the stupid birds also. Early morning 7 plus start making love... My mother say they make love so a lot of sound.. Siao lah make love need scream and shout arh!! Tell the guys to slow down lah idoit!!!! Cannot find somewhere won't disturb people de arh. Freaking ass!!!

My block all crazy people. Months ago got pervert chasing me. Now leh? People like being abuse or what. Keep got abuse sound. The ouch ouch sound. Mental Hospital don't know how to keep crazy people inside arh. Come out disturb me!!! Then also got stupid old uncle scolding bad words. No manners arh!!! Shout like nobody business... Teach children wrong thing. See i also kana influnced...=P Whatever lah my block all crazy people, siao birds.

Make my mother also the same.. Early morning touch my legs. Sensitive leh... See few days no good sleep!! I WANT COMPLAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

=D for today. Didn't use the computer for a few days. I MISS YOU MY BELOVED COMPUTER!! Updates for my pimples.. Is better haha. I go buy facial product le. Money must be spent to get nice nice face mah. Some people just simply jealous. Jealous i got good skin so say my pimples won't get better!!! I proof to you!!! Hahahaha=D

Guess What is this??? Look like some decoration right. But but but... is a CUPCAKES!!! Cool right?? This is the gift from my cousin Xiao Qing Jie Jie. =D It was her birthday so went celebrate. This cupcake is so special. it have my name on it. Althought is Xiu Zhen that appeared on the cupcake, it pronouce as my chinese name. Just in case someone chinese or hanyupinyin not very good. Hahaha my cupcake, is mine!!! It have my name on it. Woohoo!!!!^-^ Is so cute!!!

Anyway that birthday dinner party, was sort of weird feeling. Because Xiao Qing Jie Jie this year 21 years old le. And all her friend was kind of generation gap?? Some working, some army or universal... Me?? 14 years old haha. So never talk that much. Hmm to be exact, i never speak to anyone... Except my brother and mother and father...Whatever, Xiao Qing Jie Jie is so pretty. =P Young Babes hor!!! Haha =)

2009-05-20T19:18:00.000-07:00

Third Post...

Didn't blog few days ago due to problems like
- I can't open the computer
- Internet problem
- Going out
- Lazyness

Haha finally get to blog. Well not much thing happen just that my two pimples is still there...=( Okay lah at least not pain anymore. =D Nowadays i really working very hard. I mean study.. =P Homework still still not done... I am totally stuck at A.Maths.. Aww even my brother having problem because it been years since he touched it... Anyway i bought chinese assessment book. Haha chinese is the only subject interest me now. What to do, i don't need to get help in chinese so have to make sure my standard never drop. =D

Check-Up tomorrow... Scare scare.. I wonder what they will do again.. Blood taking??!! Awww see blood make me scare. So eewww.. Whatever... May going end soon, june coming. Mean that i can go back school soon. Yeah congratz to me. I want do a lot of things lor. My mind is full of what am i going to do. Hahaha=D

I miss all my friends!!!! I want go shopping!!! Go watch movie!!!! I want eat whole tub of ice-cream!!!!! :D

2009-05-20T18:30:00.000-07:00

Second Post..

Went hougang mall few says ago to borrrow some books and yeah... I finally get to borrow the books i been looking for. [ Miki Falls] is the name. I finished book one long time ago. But due to some thing, i didn't get to borrow book 2 and more. After that it been so difficult to get it... But i finally finally borrowed book 2. It have 4 chapter all together. And is classify as spring, autuum, winter and summer. =D

Is a very interesting book. About a forbidden love i guess.. Ermm right now looking for book 3. Strongly recommend by me=D Anyway is a comics book. Anyone free, go get it. ^-^ Enjoy>33

2009-05-20T17:47:00.000-07:00

This is my new bedsheet. Thank to my father nagging at my mother to change bedsheet, i get a new, clean bedsheet that don't have my saliva on it. Haha.. I always drool as usual.. So i get a very cute, cartoon bedsheet. Is rabbit and 3 cute mouse. =D Yeah suit me ^-^

2009-05-17T18:44:00.000-07:00

YEAH!!! My stupid, ugly, annoying rashes is getting better. =D I am so happy. WOOOO~~~ Finally is not that itchy anymore, and sometimes, i don't even need to scratch it. HELL YEAH!! AWESOME!!! But the red red spots is still there.. Just not so obvious anymore. ^-^

BAD NEWS!!! I have a very big, pain pimples!!!!! Actually is not that big. But is a bit swell up.. Just right beside my mouth.. =( Ouch Ouch lah.. Wash face or brush teeth pain pain... I am not that care about pimples person. But is so pain... So so so, yesterday i go squeeze it... I know is a mistakes, A BIG MISTAKES. >.< But is so pain for days so i go squeeze it. Out of my horror!!!! Gosh!! It came out some black liquid. Ewww!!! Freaking... How can such liquid in my face!!! So squeeze and squeeze until no more liquid. But is really pain. Just hope it will get better. Haha. Don't really care bacause i am staying at home. Nobody can get the chance to laugh at me. Including that meanie meanie joycelyn. Heehee =]

Daddy bought durian for me. So glad. Yeah got durian to eat. He actually went to geylang, last time my workplace to buy. Yummy!!! Memories over there with that "han bao bao". Gotta drink lots of water otherwise like few days ago, having nose bleed again...

Aww i just like my daddy, mummy, 2 korkor and bestie!!! Anyway tonight got 2 shows to watch! One is cartoon [ Monster Inc.] at 7.30pm and another is vampire [ blade] at 10++pm. Enjoy!!

2009-05-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

VERY ITCHY!!!!

Rashes didn't go away... Used lots of don't know what thing to applied. But it just didn't go away... Going tell doctor about that on our next appointment... But i was quite lucky. Althought it didn't go away, but after applying lots of weird stufs, temporaily not so itchy le...

Don't know is fortunate or what. It never get better, it also never get worse. Because all i can see is my skin full of red spots... ARGH!!!!!!!

2009-05-13T09:05:00.000-07:00

I having rashes... So itchy and ugly... I wonder will it leave a scar??? Eww then next time can't wear nice clothes le... =[

I should have make the quiz long time ago. Haha Joycelyn indeed my best buddy, best girlfriend. How i love her. She got full marks!!! Haha a lot of people get wrong on johor and malaysia because i put country... x_x They can't blame me.. My english suck..

Some people shock me sia with their score. They know me quite well. =D Never know he will be the one...

Didn't have the mood to study lately. I am feeling damm tired. Realised my homework haven't finish... Going to do it lately... Hope i won't sleep in the afternoon. ^-^ Haha

2009-05-12T10:14:00.000-07:00

I make a quiz on [How well do you know me] in facebook. So buddy and friend, if you free, go and take!!! =D Haha didn't want to make de. But due to that bearbear keep telling me to make, i made it... Is a waste of time thinking of question lah... Anyway since i made it, you do it!!!

So far so clear arh! ^-^ Jiayou getting all correct. Is not that difficult. =)

2009-05-11T23:14:00.000-07:00

57 days not meeting le.....

2009-05-10T11:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday dreaming of going market with mum. Then brought half a duck home. Hahaha =D Kao ya... Anyway today wanted to go eat breakfast de. Then was like wanting to eat duck porridge. What the hell.. Raining... So papa go eat alone then bought breakfast for us. In the end, i eat cuttlefish porridge. Damm it lah!!! I want duck porridge. =[

The stupid cuttlefish porridge not nice de. I don't like it. Put so many celery ( chong ) and ginger. I hate it. I want my duck porridge!!! Forget it at least there is food...

I started playing maple again. I am so lame. Ya this time i played pirates ( gunslinger). =) Bang Bang Bang!! =D I started zero mesos. Because my previous accounts was like weird.. I can't get in. There goes my whole asset and equipment.. Never mind slowly earned back bah. ^.^

Hehe going played audition again. Since bro redownload, don't waste lor. ^-^ Anyway keep stick to only one game very sianz de.

Haha going play now. Will blog again... ^^

2009-05-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

Yoz!!! These days keep raining. So scary lah. And cold. I keep shiver... The lightening like don't know what so bright... Whatever is cooling... I rather cold and hot. At least cold i got blanket and bolster. Hot i stripped le also hot..

Yesterday having leg cramp again. One night only, i have it more than 3 times. It just keep coming. Last night didn't have nice sleep.. Morning mother wake bro up is like killing a pig. SOOO noisy. Just don't understand. Mummy standing down there keep saying wake up wake up, I also being disturb, also wake up le. But bro is like sleeping soundly. What the hell!!! Professional sleeper sia.. Anyway he next year going army le. Sad sad...

Not going to blog too much. Er kor coming back home soon. In minutes i guess. Aww i just online sia. Sianz...

2009-05-06T11:15:00.000-07:00

Today morning was raining damm big. My window will auto open even when i closed it. And because my bed was just under the window, i was awaken by it...It was so scary and cold. The thunder is fierce and angry. I am scared and cold. =( I hid under my blanket...Soon i sleep again. ^^

I had a dream. I was so happy, having so much fun. Clearly show i was at compasspoint with some other friends. We were playing arcade. And haha i get a very very big pink coloured mashimalou. I was really very happy lah. The size was bigger than my house de brown bear bear. I hug my new prizes hard. Suddenly givan was having asthma. Then i was awaken by the cramp my left foot was having. I so so sad lah. I love my mashimalou a lot leh. Feel like crying...

I am so so sad. I want to cry. =[

2009-05-05T10:28:00.000-07:00

Slept at two.. Wake up at four... And was awaken until now... Such a night. I keep thinking about him. Seriously missing him..Bad day i guess =.=

2 people's birthday today. One is limfei, another is alvin. Happy birthday...

I need antidote. Need to get out of this missing problem. 3 months love is not strong. That what he say. But my love for you is not just 3 months anymore.. So thinking of you..

2009-05-04T22:30:00.000-07:00

Second Post...

I really love joycelyn!!!!!!!!!!! I am getting "les" with her. She help me with the songs i want. Yeah!! She is my real buddy. I really really love joycelyn!!!

Limfei which is her baby birthday coming. And is only 1hr 30 min more. Happy birthday LIM FEI!!!! Must treat my hanbaobao well hor. And last long long with her!!!!I am so happy for my best friend. To be able to have a good boyfriend. =D

I also want..

2009-05-04T01:25:00.000-07:00

I am so so happy. For no reason, i guess. Had a great, sweet, naughty chat with my baby >> JOYCELYN. =D Waaa she is damm good okay. Like been awhile since we chat. Then we talked on phone, keep message. Haha all talking about boyfriend. Yes her boyfriend. Haha. ^^

She is so cute. We are so naughty. Tink tink tink.

Lyn's baby's birth on tomorrow. Happy early birthday. Haha so were dicussing about this and that. Given her some ideas. Hehe wonder if she got followed. Anyway joycelyn promised me something. I must keep remind her. Break promise will be raped over and over again hor.

Givan very stress. I also don't know how to help. She so emotional stress up. =[

I miss him again. Waa!!! 50 days le... He is really damm good lah. Awww how i wished he is by my side now...

2009-05-02T15:26:00.000-07:00

Second Post...

I read finished some books le. Remember one is about animals. I just then know animals fur very scary. I meant theirs fur can grow a lot of types of worms. Ewww. I hate worms. I HATE WORMS. I had phobia about it. Then bad memories at pri when someone used worms to scare me until i cried and cried. Poor animals. I feel like helping them. Like stray cats. I wanted to feed stray cats. If can i want to make them clean clean. But i don't know much.. So sad for them. Theirs fur if not take good care of it, it will grow worms... =(

I also finished one books about pregnancy. The info inside is so funny. Rmb one about giving birth. They said when going to give birth le, you suddenly waked up at 2am wanted to mop the floor. Haha they said is they want to welcome the new arrival. So cute lah. Poor pregnant mother. They have baby very poor thing lah. Got chance to get a lot of sickness. Life at risk okay. Lucky they got family and husband support. Hmmm what if those who don't have husband support, when they give birth, theirs love ones not there for them. Poor thing lah...

Third books is about yoga. ^-^ Waa all the excerise there seems easy lah. Haha stretch here and there. But a lot of patterns lor. I so lazy do. See first bah. I only read halfway.

Going become bookworms le lor. Nono can't become a worm. I hate worm. I will have nightmares, phobia, thinking about it all day long. Very bad for growing child like me okay. So don't scare me with that arh. Later i will get depression, mental unstable, mental illness.

I HATE WORMS!!!!

2009-05-02T14:10:00.000-07:00

Today didn't go hougang point with mother. I was too tired lah. I and my mum yesterday was chatting until 2am plus. Near 3 am then i sleep lor. So tired haha. My mother was like telling me a lot of her past. How she give birth to us, how she manage to live with my bad father's mother, how my father de mother treat her. A lot alot. She very poor thing lor. ]=

My mum very noble okay. Soooooooo noble. She yesterday do something make me so touched. Sooooooo soooooo touched. There was one super very big grasshopper fly to my bro's room. The size is longer than my finger!!!! So big still can fly. I sooo scared leh. I very afraid of insects mah. Then my noble mother come into rescue. She tried to make the grasshopper fly out of the room. She didn't want to killed it as grasshopper is not a bad insects as mosquitos. Then she "attacked" the grasshopper ALONE. Somemore the grasshopper also attacked her sia. But no matter what she do, the grasshopper won't leave the room. So in the end, she used tissue paper grabbed it and throw outside the window. She is really very wei da. I so touched wanted to cry lor.

My mother herself scared also leh. But because of her children, and that father of mine was sleeping, she had to get rid of it. Mother's love... I wondered if i had a children, then same thing happened, i don't know whether i am that brave. I really loved my mother a lot a lot.

Mother's Love...^^

2009-05-01T21:08:00.000-07:00

Wasn't free today. Was out the whole day. My feet aches. Ouch ouch ouch. I want massage haha. Nobody will massage my feet de. I am so stupid. Comfirm when i asked someone to massage for me, they will say deng jiu jiu. I knew it.

Whatever whatever, my phone is dead. No message anything lah. So boring. I wonder why i need a phone sia. Anyway will not blog a lot now. Bro want use. Blog tomorrow bah.

I need to eat ice-cream. A whole tub of it. Have to cool down. )=

2009-04-30T21:09:00.000-07:00

Third Post...

=[ Sad sad. I am so bored at home. Friends all busy with theirs exam and own things. Anyway i start reading le. Haha almost finishing le wor. So sianz lah. Been reading since afternoon, then went for a short nap and start reading again. I am reading about animals. They are so cute. I want to adopt a pet too. But i can't take good care of them. Otherwise my 3 hamsters won't 1 go missing, 2 die.

My house lacking of fruits. No fruits lor. Make me don't know eat what. Only got pears and mango. And i been eating my some times le. Tomorrow going supermarket with mum. Going to purchase fruits. A lot a lot of them. I just love fruits.

I am so bored... :[

2009-04-30T13:32:00.000-07:00

Second Post..

Went out today. I went to hougang mall to borrow some books. So had breakfast at foodcourt. Wasn't that nice i guess. No appettie to finish it so take my own sweet time. Haha=D After that went popular. Wanted to get a cooking book. But all seems so hard to make. I just want a book that teach children how to cook. That should be easy to understand and make. But i couldn't find any of it. Sad sad dissappointed.

Went library then. Got myself a lot of books thank to my mother. Helping me lend some of my book. I get 5 books in total. All interesting topic. Well my mum herself get 2 books. She wanted to learn how to cook. That's was a miracle. I meant she don't know how to read still can borrow 2 books. Wow she is so wondeful. But is the right thing lah because live and learn mah.

I get different types of books. I don't even know whether i will read anort. Haha. =D I didn't get any stories book. I get books about yoga, animals, cooking, pregnancy and diseases. Haha of course almost all cartoon de lah. I see the books got cartoons easier to read mah. ^-^ I must be a very clever person who know almost everything. But that not easy because even i borrow i will be lazy to read.

Anyway went to the toilet. So cold. Once i entered the toilet, i was shivering le lor. Somemore, used toilet need strip more worse. Then washed my hands with super icy cold water. Aww that was horrible. My mum say i am not healthy. Well, i am not healthy. I need see doctor mah so not healthy i don't mind. =D

We really stop contacting each other le. I am bored again. I loved to have companion. I am not so lucky i guess. So so bored...

2009-04-30T01:14:00.000-07:00

I told him that we shouldn't contact each other anymore. I feel that since i am not going to accept him, is not good to keep contacting him unless he can give up. I think is not fair to him.

Althought i like him to accompany me, is still not the right thing to do. So told him just now. I feel that i had hurt him. It doesn't feel good. I never liked to hurt someone's feelings. I am so weak in relationship. Soo soo weak. I am born this way. That's nothing i can do. Felt sad about it. I hope he is okay.

Hope he can find other girls better than me. I am not worth all this. Felt so sorry to him...

2009-04-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

Hello, YOYOYO =D Morning everyone. Haha!! Bet nobody will actually see this post during morning. Okay that's was sooo sooo sooo lame.

Today had roti prata for breakfast. =D Yummy delicious. Haha i just like the curry. But not hot enough lah. Hehe i ate with my little fingers. Now my fingers all got curry smell. ^-^ I am so bored. So So bored. Left one more day before my phone credit expires. I just hope my bro had bought the top up card. It will be a waste if it just expires lah.

Really very confused. I don't know him or him. Just like what lyn say, one study study de, one music music de. Aiyoyo i very blur. I mean he is good but i can't forget him. Then together also not good mah. Nonono must not give in. I promised givan she will be my darling de lor. Joycelyn can't jealous hor. Is because you got LF i go find givan de.

Anyway i really don't feel like meeting any of my friends right now. And yes including you joycelyn. I meant not in the mood lah. I so tired. I just don't feel like meeting whoever whoever. I just want to be alone. Just treat that i am fat then too shy to meet you okay.

I truly very jealous of joycelyn lor. Her darling so good. Cook for her. Don't know why lah i also feel like cooking. I am learning to cook from my mother le. I know how to fried rice, fried egg, fried fish cake. I only know how to fried. Haha. I want to learn more things. I want to know how to prepared a meal. I go find books about cooking and all is words more than pictures!! My english also not good. So much words i read le, headaches.>_<

Remember once givan, joycelyn, me, zhenyu went givan's house bake cookies. I think i team with givan while joycelyn with zhenyu. Then we bake normal chocolate cookies while they bake m&m cookies. And theirs colours definitely need improvement. I meant m&m cookies have assorted colours. Then when bake, the m&m melts and the colours is horrible lah. >.< Whatever it is, both cookies taste wonderful. Haha that was memorable.

I love cooking. =D =D =D

2009-04-28T13:29:00.000-07:00

Third Post..
This is from givan's blog. Thank to her, i am wasting my precious time. =.="

1.Real name : Teo Siew Chin.
2. Nickname : Siao Siao.
3. Star sign : Scorpio.
4. Male or female : Female.
5. Primary School : Hougang Primary School.
6. Secondary School : Serangoon Garden Secondary School.
7. JC/Poly : Nanyang Poly.
8. Hair color : Black.
9. Long or short : Not long not short.
10. Loud or Quiet : Both. Depends on my moods.
11. Sweats or Jeans : I don't understand. What's that??
12. Phone or Camera : Phone.
13. Health freak : I eat fruits everyday but i am sick now. Counted??
14. Drink or Smoke? : Drink.
15. Do you have a crush on someone? : No idea.
16. Eat or Drink : Both.
17. Piercings : Yes.
18. Tattoos : No.

HAVE YOU EVER?
19. Been in an airplane : Yes.
20. Been in a relationship : Yea.
21. Been in a car accident : No. Not so unlucky.
22. Been in a fist fight : Forgot.

FIRSTS:
23. First piercing : Ear.
24. First best friend : Forgotten.
25. First award : No idea.
26. First crush : Teo Wei Keat.
Where Qns 27??
28. First vacation : Either Malaysia or Hong Kong.

[Freaking long!!!]

LASTS:
29. Last person you talked to : Mother.
30. Last person you texted : Givan
31. Last person(s) you watched a movie with : Joe.
32. Last food you ate : Laska.
33. Last movie you watched : Most likely Ponyo.=D
34. Last song you listened to : Forgotten.
35. Last thing you bought : Bubble tea. Days ago and i can remembered!!! ^^
36. Last person you hugged : Mother.

FAVES:
37. Food : Any foods that can satisfy my hunger.
38. Drinks : Chysanthemum tea and fruit juice!
39. Clothing : Any type that i liked.
40. Books : Fairytales.
41. Song : Got a few leh.
42. Flower : Chysanthemum. ^.^
43. Colors : Depends on my moods.
44. Movies : Romance, Ghost, Violent, Comedies, Cute.
45. Phrase : No idea.
46. Subjects : Chinese. :D
47. [] Kissed in the snow
48. [x] Celebrated Halloween
49. [x] Had your heart broken
50. [x] Went over the minutes on your cell phone
51. [x] Someone questioned your sexual orientation
52. [x] Came out of the closet
53. [x] Gotten pregnant
54. [] Had an abortion
55. [x] Done something you've regretted
56. [x] Broke a promise
57. [x] Hid a secret
58. [x] Pretended to be happy
59. [x] Met someone who changed your life
60. [x] Pretended to be sick
61. [x] Left the country
62. [x] Tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
63. [x] Cried over the silliest thing
64. [x] Ran a mile
65. [x] Went to the beach with your best friend(s)
66. [x] Stay single the whole year .

CURRENTLY:
67. Eating : Nothing.
68. Drinking : Chysanthemum Tea.=)
69. I'm about ton : Don't understand.
70. Listening to : Nothing.
71. Plans for tomorrow : Nothing.
72. Waiting for : Foods.

YOUR FUTURE:
73. Want kids? : Yes.
74. Want to get married? : Yes.
75. Careers in mind : Air stewardess. But thats is impossible. I can't bear to leave my family. I LOVE THEM!!
76. Lips or eyes : Both.
77. Shorter or taller? : I don't mind.
78. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic.
79. Nice stomach or nice arms : Both.
80. Sensitive or loud : Loud.
81. Hook-up or relationship : Relationship.
82. Trouble-maker or hesitant : Troublemaker.

HAVE YOU EVER :
83. Lost glasses/contacts : Yes, swimming pool.
84. Ran away from home : Feel like doing but no.
85. Hold a gun/knife for self defense : Yes, after the pervert scared me.
86. Killed somebody : Yea, in game.
87. Broken someone's heart : Of course.
88. Been arrested : No i guess.
89. Cried when someone died : My darling and family haven't die. I won't cry for strangers! >.<

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90. Yourself : Yes.
91. Miracles : Yes.
92. Love at first sight : Yes.
93. Heaven : Yes.
94. Santa Claus : No.
95. Sex on the first date : Yes.
96. Kiss on the first date : Yes.
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes.
98. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? : Not really.
99.Do you believe in God? : Sometimes.
100.This is the 100th and last :Question : Do you feel empty ? : No.

NOW TAG 10 PEOPLE TO DO THIS:
-Joycelyn.
-Givan.
-Shayne.
-Tian Soon.
-Tian Long.
-Elton.
-Wei Keat.
-Lim Fei.
-Jian kuo.
-Wilson.

FREAKING LAME!!!!! I MUST BE CRAZY DOING IT!!!

2009-04-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

Second Post..

Waa!!! Is raining. So so big!!! Freaking so scared. The thunder come unexpected!!! =( I was scared a few times by it! Boom boom boom!!! Sob sob... It so scary and cold. My bed was wet. Thank to my DEAREST MUMMY!!! She simply close her own window and take in the clothing. She never help me. My pillow, my clothing hanging on the window, my bed even my handphone is wet. Okay lah not so bad but damp.

Aww my precious leh. I love sleeping mah then now my beloved all damp damp de. Hug le not warm but cold. Luckily my bolster is dry. Otherwise i sure going to cry le. My bolster is my life. Been with me for years!!! Bolster is my great great sweetie + darling + dear + boyfriend + girlfriend + a lot a lot lah. =D

My bolster is good to me. Never leave me alone when i need it. Never make me sad. Never hurt me. When i am sad, my bolster will become tissue paper. =D When i sleeping then saliva come out, my bolster also never complain. ^^ My bolster accompany me during midnight when i watched ghost or violent show and had nightmares. =) My bolster become my "boyfriend" as when i missed my boyfriend, it will become one. ^.^ We been through a lot leh. =D When i young, i even shh shh at it. Haha. It just smell of milk bottle. ^-^ And a bit my smell lah. >_<

I LOVE my bolster!! Yeah!!!

2009-04-28T10:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday chat with darling. Walao she is so... Okay confirm without me by her side, she become.. Whatever it is, take care kays! So while talking, remind me of the past again. She simply going through what i had gone through. So yesterday sad sad again. Can't help crying... =(

Okay whatever it is. Today a new day. So forget about it lah!! I am addicted to one tea. Maybe not addicted lah but i just love it. If you know me well, yes is chysanthemum tea!!!! Hoho. I just simply love it. Not only the smell but the taste.

Chysanthemum tea crystal have a sweet smelling. Erm it can be addictive wor. Well the tea is so wonderfulling relaxing. Haha!!! I LOVE CHYSANTHEMUM TEA!!! Been drinking for days!!! Hehe^^

My dearest having exam these few days. So sad that they are not free le. So anxious whether they do well. Dearest must jiayou wor. I will support you at home!!! Haha!! I wear mini skirt and use pom pom cheer for all of you!!! Hehe!!!! Must get good marks arh!!!! Except for one person. Just hope you get zero for all subject and drop to normal academic or retain!!!!

I miss my sweeties!!! Love you all =D

2009-04-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

Second Post..

I want to go back to times. I want to be like a primary school kids. Even since i stepped into secondary life, my lifes changed. I want to be ugly. Just like when i am in primary school. Nobody will notice me, like me, chase after me. I will not go into relationship. I will not get hurt. I will not be feeling soo miserable. When must life changed? Isn't better last time. I don't like secondary life. I want to go back times. I regreted. Freaking regretted.

2009-04-27T14:30:00.000-07:00

I am really really pissed. I have no idea why or how i feel this way. I am now soo soo frustrated!! Seeing all the things not what i want!!

I am really very hot. Been sweating and sweating sitting infront of the fan. What the fuck is this weather!!! Well i have consider. I will have a haircut soon. Make it not so thick. Ermm should i change my hairstyle?? Cut a more different ways. =D See first lah. One day when i really can't take it i will go for a haircut.

I am so confused. I like someone to accompany me and talk to me. But i just don't feel like talking to him. He just doesn't seem to be my type. I mean what time he sleep is not the same as mine. He seem to be... I have no idea. Start feeling this way since yesterday. Argh!! I don't know what i want. All i want now is peace. I want to be alone. Totally alone. I want to think craps. I feel i am weird. Thats something wrong with me.

I hate talking to strangers. Especially when i don't know how to say i hate talking to them. But i need to talk to them. I don't know what. Maybe i ... I have never like talking to people i don't know or i don't know well. Thats why i seldom make new friend. Unless that is a need. I mean i just want to talk to people i know well.

I feel like a freak. A freak i wouldn't want to be. Thats nothing wrong with me i guess. But why must i be talk to. Whatever it is i hate now.

2009-04-26T22:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday watched [Seed of Chucky]. Okay is not that scary but problem is.. I HAVE PHOBIA ABOUT DUMMY!!!! I have this imagination about dummy. Like they will split their mouth open at midnight and give out a very scary laugh. Like MUACKHAAHAHAHAHA. EEWK!!! So yes i have nightmares!!! Hahaha sort of expecting it. I am a coward. What to do?? Awww that moment wanted someone be there for me, comfort me and hug me. =( Is okay i have my bloster. So hug my darling tight tight. ^^

Someone promised to pei me de!!! That someone is soooo mean!! The show haven't finish, he sleep le. Aiyo.. Never mind joycelyn in the end still accompany me for awhile. =D See i don't rely on guys!!! I have my friends and that enough. I don't need a boyfriend. =D

Got to know joycelyn's latest big news!! Maybe i am outdated but it is frightening. Waa never expect her to be... Well people change i guess.. Haha she grow up. Hope she never forget the piece of advice i given her. NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!!!!!!

That someone been accompany me these few days. I really don't know what to do. Should i, or should i not. I mean he is quite nice but i just don't feel like trusting guys. Somemore it hurts right? Better go by my ways. No means no. But i been messaging him. If suddenly stop, what will he feel?? He say don't mind but i can't really hold on to him but.. Argh!!! Is so confusing. Forget it lah.

Got one chinese words like chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi. English is boat reach bridge will straight. Haha direct translate. My english not good mah. Anyway meaning is i don't know how to say. Ask me in person lah if don't understand...

Hahahahaha=D Love my family and my friends!!

2009-04-25T17:29:00.000-07:00

Second Post!!

Was talking to someone, chatting around. He very bad lor. Keep bully me. ^^ Never mind i will still win him in the games.

Currently big kor kor introduce me play Blackshot. It was so fun. Sort of counter strike style except it is stealing flag. =D I am not bad okay. My rank is staff sergernt!!!! Muackhahahaha. Actually is my bro account. He let me use so become mine. ^^ Anyway i only help him level once... This games is damm porpular in NYP. Because NYP people everyone got one disc FOC. Haha...

Bang Bang Bang!!!! I am not bad okay. I am good at CHOING ARH!!! Normally team lose because of me. Pro right??!! Haha advestise this games so everyone will play.

I am not good today. I call givan at 2pm plus. She sleeping!! So kana disturb by me. Opss didn't mean it. =D

Joycelyn don't know busy with what! Never talk to her long time!! Tonight will give her a call. Hehe

2009-04-25T09:51:00.000-07:00

Lalala i been daydreaming again. Haha.. Yesterday was chatting on phone with givan. So funny talking to her. She is very busy de lor. A few minute one call, another few minutes one call.

I don't know what to do sia. So boring. I even make myself one big calendar. I am crazy wasting time doing it. But if i don't do something i will be bored to death!!

Time to keep call people le. My phone actually still left $50 plus and is going to expires by 30 april. OMG i only left 5 more days!!! How am i going to finish it. If i don't want it to expires i must top up. Then become $150 plus. Argh!!!!

Going to disturb all my friend le ^^

2009-04-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

Came to blog again. I am so so sad. My tears flow. I am scare very scare. It seem he have new target. I don't want that to happen. I don't want her to have him. I don't want. I hate it. I hate what i see. Please don't like anyone. Please.. Can i do anything about it?? I can't. I can only wish is not true. How am i going to take it!!!!!!!!

I really want him. Really really...

2009-04-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

NOSE BLEED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morning just wake up having toilet break when my nose was leaking red water!!! OMG is just like leaking water tap keep drip and drip and drip. My precious blood... I so ke lian liao still nose bleed. My red blood already not enough still nose bleed!!! Wasted so many blood on so many tissue paper. Even my blood hate me. Don't want to be with me. =(

So stuck a tissue paper into my nose and came online. So used to nose bleed liao... Just online when someone came talking to me. ^^ Ya he come with concern asking how am i. So reply i am fine so chat awhile on my problem. Then suddenly asked me a very very unexpected question. OMG!!! I can't believe what i heard. If only he ask that question earlier, ask that question around last year mid. Things won't happen. Maybe i won't be involved in this. Maybe i won't know him. Maybe we won't even start. Maybe i won't be missing him that much now.

What am i talking?? I never regret knowing him, never regret be with him. But is just... regret what i have done. Trust i guess. Trusting a someone, pinning my hopes on him. Fine...is over. I have already throw away all the trust on guys. They just didn't seem to be what they are seem to be.

Why am i so foolish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-23T19:44:00.000-07:00

Life is not really what we expected. Poor givan. Don't be sad anymore. Althought i know you can't help it but what can you really do?? Just hold back your tears and buried those memories. Life still goes on no matter what happen. You sad sad i also sad sad. Never want to cry de lor. Read your blog le feel like hiding under my blanket and cry. But i can't. 24/7 at home my mother sure will worried. =D

Be happy bah. Join my single group. ^^ Save money on phone bills. My phone miraclely last about one month without going bankrupt. I think still got $40 dollars plus leh. Last time not even one month lah. Study hard lah. At least he still talk to you. You are truly better than me a lot a lot le.

I WANT CRY LE!!!!!!

2009-04-22T12:38:00.000-07:00

HELL YEAH JOYCELYN AND LIM FEI'S FIRST MONTH!!!
Simply felt happy for them. Anyway i just can't help feeling sad. So long... Never mind life still go on... =D Joycelyn is not good. Keep say i fat, chubby. Am i that fat?? Nono cannot heard you talk crap. Later i go on a diet and got yan shi zheng more worse. Oh well hope you all last long long.

Givan is my best best! She promised to help me with something. I am so grateful. Oh i love you givan!!!!!!!

Having two dreams last night. One is i go out wearing school u with givan and elton. Don't blame me lyn i just never dream of you. Maybe you at limfei's dream.. So had fun with the guys and i met mr oei haha. Never thought of dreaming him too. Well is a lame dream. So second one is about someone sick maybe will die lah blah blah. Don't know what happening. Been dreaming crap nowadays.

Mummy dreams too. Haha her dream is so damm cartoon. Make me laugh like mad. Okay must respect her. Cannot blog about it. Later she angry wor.

I am going crazy!!!!

2009-04-21T10:43:00.000-07:00

Back to blogging. =D There not much to blog about my life since is always the same. Eat, sleep, go toilet, blah blah blah. Going to happy for friends and sad for other friends.

Joycelyn CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! YOU PASSED 2.4. OMG!!!!! BIG THING!!!! Actually i don't know i high for what. 2.4 is actually quite easy. Something must be wrong with joycelyn not passing it the first time. Lol without me around can't pass?? Okay lah cannot be so bad. Since she so happy must play along lor. ^^

Givan is sick again. Aiyoooyooo!! Must be training she been having. Poor thing.. Hope you get well well soon. Must take care mah like me. Keep eat and sleep eat and sleep. So healthy~~ =D Don't care still must online arh. ^^ Must pei me mah. ^.^ Take care wor.

Lalala no school no school. So boring at home. I want go buy maze book play. Play maze very fun.=D

It been 36 days. My mind don't know fly where le... Must be busy with exam. I guess..

2009-04-18T23:20:00.000-07:00

Okay i am seriously getting him over my life now. I don't know what he wants. Said we can still be friend but what he is doing is not right. Avoiding me in all ways. Hello, i am a human, i have feelings! So be it. He want me to get out of his life TOTALLY, i will just do it. Even if i can't forget him, still love him, i am not going to contact him anymore. He seriously need to know what he have done. He should just realised how hurt it was. Fine, he is over, he choose it. I give my best shot still... Forget it lah!!!!

Today i was a very very good girl. I help my mummy do a lot of things. First, i prepared lunch for the whole family. I cook fried rice for them. Of course, with my mother's help. =D Felt sooo happy. Because i never prepared a meal for them before. First attempt wasn't that good. Rice is hard. But it taste not bad okay, just a bit hard ^^.

Then i help to sweep the floor. I clean my room, parent's room, living room and kitchen. Bro's room was way too messy, dirty, untidy. They should clear up a bit otherwise no way i am going to clean up for them.=) But sadly, =*( while cleaning up, i hurt myself. My left thumb bleed because i was too careless. Hitting the chair just hurt. But hitting the chair with the broom squishing my thumb. OUCH!!! My precious blood...

Never mind. I should be more strong. I am a NPCC cadet okay. Strong so no tears. ^-^

But i don't feel strong nowadays. I feel weak. I feel weird all over my body. Sometimes i feel that i have headaches, sometimes is giddy, sometimes i feel like vomiting, sometimes my stomach just hurt. A lot a lot of problems. I am weaker that last time. Last time, i would just ask givan or joycelyn why they so weak, keep falling sick. Now i am not better than them. They surely is stronger than me now. Awww i don't feel well.

I am Emotionally down, Physically weak, Mentally not working well. Okay this sound quite nice. ^.^

2009-04-17T16:18:00.000-07:00

Can't sleep well again. Yesterday was lying on the bed for hours!!! Argh!! When can i actually fall asleep upon lying on my bed...

Today went shopping with mummy. She need buy some detergent, foods, tissue papers a lot a lot. So when she go find the things she want, i go walk around. So boring... On the way home, she accidentally broke some of the eggs she just bought. Haha.. Actually not sure what to cook for dinner and now have decided to cook eggs. Haha she broke 5 eggs. Enough for the whole family =D She is too careless. Lalala i am sooo sooo bored!!!! I want HIM!!!

2009-04-16T16:11:00.000-07:00

If one day you have no idea what you are living for, what will you do??
For me i will just end my life and sure i will find what i am living for in your next life.

2009-04-16T14:58:00.000-07:00

Wasn't feeling good now.. Have this weird feeling.. It make me frustrated and giddy... Must be due to yesterday's night. I went to bed at 12 plus and i fall asleep at 3 plus. I just can't sleep. Don't feel well i guess. So thinking a lot of things. As usual, he appeared.. Blah Blah Blah just missed him. Anyway i was thinking about money almost the whole 3 hours. I wanted to pay my parents back the money they used to see doctor. So came up to this plan.

I will start working from september onwards. So in one months, i at least have to work 18 days with 8 hours per day. So in one months i will earn $504. By the end of this year, which left 4 more months, i will earn $2016. I going to pay my parents $150 per months. So in 4 months i will pay them back $600. Anyway i decided to buy a camera. So after buying camera, i hope i still left $1000 for next year so that i won't have to work too hard and concentrate on my study.

Anyway is just the beginning lah. Going work out a saving plan and control plan to save more money. Even though, i am not going let my study drop. I am going to study real hard too. For my future, for a better life next year, this year i just have to work hard. Friends around, will not neglect you all. I just work hard on sat and sun, i will have time on weekdays. Decided not to go into relationships anymore althought i never thought of giving up.

I believe in love but i don't trust guys. So just study and money is important now =D Argh!! I feel sick.. Damm it =(

2009-04-14T20:55:00.000-07:00

Today finally can use the computer. If you have notice, yesterday i didn't blog due to the bad brother i had. Don't let me play. Was quite busy these few days. Having serious work to do. Real serious like today.. Tomorrow another serious work. Boring...

By the way, today is givan 14th months with yuancheong. CONGRATULATION!!! But their relationship is like... Hope things get better. ^^

He really quite busy these few days. Really hope he won't be too stress over homework and his most important exams. Pray hard hard he will get good marks. =)

Joycelyn is so mean. She just can't stop teasing me. She enjoy it for no reason. Saying i fat, bleah you think i care?? Haha i simply don't care. I will continue eat and eat. Givan say when i am okay, will go gym with me. I AM NOT SCARE BEING FAT!!! Anyway fat is good, nice to hug like abigail. I want be chubby chubby, got meat then nice nice. You better gain weight otherwise next time got BIG wind, you will be blown away. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Will blog more next time. Simply nothing to blog...

2009-04-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

Okay gotta blog now. Just upload some pictures of me super zi lian. What to do i am just tooo toooo bored. I am so tired. This medical problem of mine keep making me wanting to sleep. I wake up morning to have my breakfast and went back to sleep. After that around 2pm, went out and reach home around 5pm and i sleep again. So just now wake up to have my dinner and i was lying on my bed until now. Haha..

I don't like going out anymore. I just want to stay at home because even i go out, all the places i went is repeated. Ang Mo Kio, Toa Payoh, Bugis, Boon Keng, Serangoon, Kovan. It so boring. I just want to sleep and eat and sleep and eat. Live wasn't as great as last time. Where someone still love me, care about me... Keep message him but he just don't want to reply.

I really missed him. I haven't seen him for 28 days. It just felt like years. I still have to wait for months before i can see him. Is a terrible feeling.. Really want him back by my side. I want go back to last time where i still can talk to him, see him, go out with him and have all sort of fun i never had it before. I would never forget how we used to be.

On countdown, i actually stay overnight outside. So tired and i fell asleep on a bench at fort canning. Remember how he hug me and cover me with his legs and hands to keep me warm and protect me from mosquitos. Althought we both still get bitten badly in the end, never regret going countdown and stay overnight with him. That day, my shoes torn apart and i went home barefooted. Haha i actually walked around the road, street, shopping mall BAREFOOTED!!

I don't want to ask much from him. I just want him to talk to me even as friend i don't mind. Just treat me as a friend and talk to me. Chat around, talk about problem. Is enough. But what he is doing now hurt. Hurt deeply... Just what have i done wrong?? Is it wrong to love someone??

2009-04-12T22:32:00.000-07:00

BORING.....

BORED!!!....

2009-04-11T16:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday watched [Alone] with my parents. It was so scary so i message lyn, givan and him. I am a coward i know. What to do i am born this way. Lalala lyn promised she try her best not to sleep to pei me because i knew i am going to have nightmare. Haha anyway givan halfway stop message me. He never reply my message at all... So was chatting was lyn and watching that show. Everytime i know the ghost going to come out, i quickly close my eyes. So in the end, i never see the ghost face at all. Hahahahaaaa!!!!

After the show end, went back room continue message lyn. But after awhile, she is dead... SHE FALL ASLEEP TOO!!!!!! Left me alone in my room ALONE!!! Told myself not to be scare and went to sleep. ZZZ...ZZZ...ZZZ i have nightmare and was awaken by that. It was 4am and i just can't went back to sleep. Don't know why my mind keep thinking of something althought is not scary at all. Blah blah blah i just can't sleep. Maybe i was alone in my silent room, i very scare. Hug my bloster very very tight with blanket covering up to my mouth...

I wanted to message him. I really very scare. But is was 4am, he will never reply me. I wish he was beside me, i wouldn't be so scare. So my eyes was wide open looking at my surrounding just in case something... Time tick tock tick tock, minutes by seconds past. Finally went back sleep at 6am. LOL i am hopeless.... Anyway wake up at 7 plus because mummy want me go out with her... TIRED!!!!!!!

Recall yesterday incident was quite embarrassing. Remember once watched ghost show with him, i cried. I can't help it. Anyway he is mean. He simply lay in a distance on the bed while watching with me!!!! So i took the blanket and watched at a side. Just feel that i am watching the show alone with nobody there. When i show end, i just cry. Half is it is really very scary, another half is he never care about me. So sad sad and afraid, tears just flow. I just cannot watched ghost show or very gruesome or violent show. My mind will make me think that i am the one being tortured or hunt by the ghost!!!

I miss him a lot. I really try my best. But i have a feeling he is avoiding me. Message him, he will end it or just simply no reply... Last time when i am avoiding him, he also told me the feeling is not good. But now, he is doing the same. Will my feeling be good??...

2009-04-09T22:05:00.000-07:00

Today, friends visited me and gave me a crane. So touched with all the wishes there. I am really fine. Don't worry too much everyone. =D Look at the crane they give me

Is beautiful right?? Is make by givan with givan, elton, joycelyn and wei ming wishes on it. I am going to get well soon with this crane. ^^ Thank a lot!!

2009-04-08T23:45:00.000-07:00

These pictures was taken days ago. So bored after i went out so took these pictures. Going to take more and more. =D Just now i download little fighter 2. Haha of course with the help of my big brother. Miracle is my second brother never object me downloading it. Haha so lucky my brother love me. ^^ So all the while been playing it. It so fun, very fun. It was game i played when i am primary six or below. Erm.. after much thinking, i think is before i moved to the current house i am living in. Haha memories i had. I just like killing people with super power. Is like i will never die. Muackhahaaaa!!!!

Why am i always so bored??? My phone only have the same old people keep message me. And the content is always the same. Goodnight sleep well or morning have a nice day... So boring... Just wish he will message me.. He like forgotten me.. So fast sia.. I just miss him. When can i meet him!!!!! Is so long long long!!!

I miss his cat a lot a lot. He is the first cat make me not scare of cat. He is just so cute. Know need to go toilet then can shit. Wonderful right?? Haha first cat i know how to go toilet.=D His cat last time like me a lot also. Can tell because he like coming to me, want me to stroke him. Haha reminds me once i win his owner. We both was calling the cat, and he choose me, he come to me. Waa =) But not sure now?? Maybe don't remember me le... Ahh i just missed them!!! Miss the chilli chicken too...

2009-04-08T13:50:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA.. Yesterday finally message him. But he want sleep le. Ai yo so never talk too much..

Today wake up and tidy my room. After that someone come my house, talk talk and there she goes. Eaten a lot of foods. Got porridge, corntos and fish ball crackers. AHHH i am so bored. Simply blog nonsense..

2009-04-07T19:47:00.000-07:00

These days guys are horrible. Got to know one that is so super damm suck. He is totally so irresponsible. Thinking you done something wrong can run away?? Freak you lah.. Gotta curse him until he very very "lucky".

I wish while he is walking, his pants drop off. Everytime forgot to bring homework to school. Better lost all the homework. I curse his study will be like a pile of shit. Every subject get below 5 marks, best zero. Anyway that happen before. Haha he is totally like da bian. Hope he can't get go to sec % and retain for a lot a lot of years. Can't get to poly but ITE. Even when to ITE, he will not have money to study. While i get to promote to sec 4, go to poly and have a good job. When he grow up, his job always have cashflow problem. Must go to loansharks. But cannot pay back. If he have a business, it will go bankrupt.

I curse him will not get a girl because he is like a shit. NO WOMEN WILL MARRIED HIM!!! Even got women wants him, will be those hongster. Cheat all his money, give problem to his family, borrow money from loanshark under his name and run away. His life will be terrible. If his family is rich enough to help him, soon he will bring more and more problem to his family until his family cannot take it and leave him. He will not get true love, will not get family support, will not get friend support, even public people see him will shoo him away.

-When he is born to this world, he make his mother's health very bad because giving birth to him, make the mother lose too much blood.

-When he is 1~6 years old, he knows nothing but to give trouble to his family.

-6~12 years old, his study everytime fail.

-12~16 years old, he learn to drink, smoke, create trouble and get into police case.

-When he is 16~20, he went to jail and get caning, get to the worse school, know more bad friend.

-20~25, he get involve with drug and is running away from police. He take drug, have sex with prostitute. Borrow money from loanshark and they chop away half of his precious.

-25~30, he went to jail again with more caning.

-When he release from jail, his family forced him to join matchmaking session and get him a job. But no women want him because his precious too short and small. His boss cheated the business money and run away. He have to help his boss pay back to his customer.

-45 years old, his whole family either die or run away because of him.

-50 years old, he have no choice but to become beggar with sleep in the street.

-60 years old, he have heart attack, lung cancer, kidney failure, diabetes.

-70 years old, he wanted to commit suicide but not successful. He don't want to be torture this way but he can't help it.

-80 years old, he can't walk anymore and one of his eye is blind.

-90 years old, he crawl to find rubbish food everyday with his illness torturing him. Nobody want to get close to him as he is way to stink.

-When he is 100 years old, he can't even crawl. Everyday lying on the street. He depend on people who drop food for him to survive. Soon will die of car accident with 5 car knocking him continously.

2009-04-07T14:26:00.000-07:00

Lalala... Today go buy things with mummy. Bought a lot of things to eat. Haha..Yesterday sleep so late today wake up early, can't take it. I am so tired. Nothing to blog now. Shall blog later or tomorrow..

2009-04-07T00:31:00.000-07:00

Lalala i am crazy now. Just so bored and don't want to sleep so come play some games. Addicted to restaurant city on facebook. It so cool, got a shop of mine. But sad sad sad, i just can't play it. Maintaining or whatever, it spoil my moods. Now i totally don't know what to do. What game should i play??

Got POA worksheet haven't complete but i am too lazy to do it. Going finish it later because my mum going school in the morning to pass up for me.. Shit lah!! Never attend lesson for so many weeks, got a feeling i am lagging behind. POA started to get difficult and difficult. All the trading account, gross profit blah blah... Totally have the whole shit i don't understand. Textbook is not easy to read with a lot of words i don't know the meaning. Is the same as reading a very very ching english storybook. Stress stress.. Now i only confident in chinese. Other subject is struggling!!!! Gotten read read understand understand memorise memorise read read understand understand memorise memorise. The cycle can't stop... But i just don't understand from reading. I need someone talk talk down there, giving example, and i try and try. What to do what to do...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to eat!!!!!

2009-04-06T12:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night doesn't have a good night sleep because i watched [Final Destination 3]... Haha i was soooo soooo scare, i sleep with my parent. It was so disgusting and gruesome how they die. But sleeping with my parent just never make me feel someone is coming for me in the room. But i just keep thinking what will happen if it is me, what am i going to do, blah blah blah. So the night was wasted. I didn't get a good sleep. maybe a few minute?? God damm it. Next time not going take rollercoaster anymore. Phobia... Call me coward or whatever, who cares.

Morning wake up early due to some noise my parent make.. Next minute, i crawl back to my room, cover myself with my blanket, fall asleep immediately. Haha until now. So tired.

Gotten thank god. I knew some thing about him. He is so stress now. I don't know what to do. I am so useless. I have no idea what to do to help him. Don't even have the courage to message him. I AM SO STUPID!!!

2009-04-05T15:24:00.000-07:00

Mixed feelings now.. Sad, worried, happy...

Can't stop thinking of him. I am so sad. I don't know anything about him now. Is his study good?? Stress?? Everything going alright for him?? I don't know what to do. Can't contact him. After some time, then he will think i no feeling for him so he will still treat me as friend. At least being his friend, sometimes i get to talk to him, know some of his problem and whether he is happy or sad...Maybe i still got a chance to go out with him as a friend... Just can't forgot everything we been through, everything he teach me.

I am worried whether he really got a girlfriend. I don't want him to hold other girl's hand, hug or even kiss... I don't want that to happen. What about me if you do those stuff?? Here i miss your hand, i want your hug, i need your kisses. Can't stop thinking what is he doing now?? Out with girlfriend?? Maybe at his house?? Hugging or kissing each other?? Maybe that girl might just took over me. Doing everything i once did with him. He say kiera is my son. Now?? Is he still mine??

Happy the day i recover is drawing nearer day by day. Mean i can see him soon. I am still dreaming about what we will be when i really get back him. Talking to my beloved bao zheng to try out things we might do again. I just need his hug again. Just right for me, always have a smell. A smell i never forget because only he have it. Never come across guys have that smell.

Today went out with papa and mama. Suddenly not feeling well. Head very pain, feel like vomit. Went home immediately. Sad sia. A day where i can go out ruin. Went back home to rest and i am feeling better. Going try my luck again and ask papa and mama to bring me out again. Just can't waste such a day that only come once a week.

2009-04-04T14:04:00.000-07:00

Nothing much to blog today. Oh ya i am damm happy. I found my house key with the keychain still on it. Haha actually not me but my mom. Thank mummy. ^^

Just wake up and read through a book about horoscopes. My horoscopes and his are actually quite good. So happy. Hopes is true. Haha!!!! I really miss him so much. He never message me never call me. We like totally no contact. Miss him Miss him Miss him...

Yesterday night was awesome. Not very hot because i wear very little to sleep. Haha just a short plus a tube. Hurray. This month is really terrible. Even papa cannot take it. Hope is over soon..

Missing a lot of thing now. Him, Friends, Foods, more and more...=D

2009-04-03T12:05:00.000-07:00

Go check up yesterday, soo pain the injection... Don't know why more pain than last time.. They also never give me ball to squeeze. Last time got de lor... Pain pain, arms can't be straight...

They come in two, i come in one. I miss him so much, does he know?? Would he be there for me during that terrible time?? Would he be there for me if i need him?? What if i can't make it??Really need his support...

Before went sleep yesterday, i read through all the message he send to me. So sweet so WOW!! Felt so happy at that moment. Totally lift up my spirit. Just need to say, HE ROCK!! All the message so promising. Recall some incident like at the camp, what he say to me, make me overcome my fear at the high element. ^^

His smell is addictive so is he. He is like a drugs and i been taking this pills for almost three months, regurlarly. So addicted to it. Everyday i would take this drug. Just by not taking it, i would lose concentration, get irritated, frustrated. Now i am craving for it more and more. But i just can't afford that expensive drug anymore. I am just depending on the powder which the drug have left behind. It make me happy just by smelling it. It just so attractive, addictive. I can't live without it. I don't want to live without it. The feeling is just too nice..

Missing him now..

Today my arms still hurt. The nurse must have no experience... Luckily next check up not so soon. I really want go out. Need stock up my tibits. Running out soon. I have gain weight that is confirm. I am fatter now and can actually fit in L size short.. Joycelyn going to tease me.. She is just so bad.. Haha!!! She got Lim fei now. So sweet lor. I at here keep eating chu. So unfair. Givan better. Win her. Haha!!!!!!!!!!!! =D

2009-04-02T11:37:00.000-07:00

I actually forgot yesterday was April Fool Day. So ya Happy April Fool Everyone!!

Yesterday was still searching my house key but i just can't find it. Felt a bit disappointed. It just feel like it just gone with the relationship. Feeling disappeared into thin air while my key disappeared into thin air too.. :(

I was so angry, sad and whatever feeling i am experiencing yesterday night. Someone is telling me what to do. Just stop controlling me. I have the right to choose what i want. Whatever it is i will face the music myself. You think is easy you come do it lah. With a mouth i also know how to say. I isn't sad in the first place lah. Is you who keep talk about it. I wasn't suffering okay. I was living happily. So what if it is in the past. I just don't want to face the reality. Can? Stop interfering my life, my privacy! Want to know everything, i tell you and this is what i get. One last time i say, GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!

Freaking pissed at this.. Don't say anything nothing will happen right. I won't be angry and sad now right. Say what, want me be happy, don't want me to suffer. By saying all these you make me unhappy, make me suffer! Damm freaking fuck up...

Must relax... Anyway going check up later. I hate injection...

2009-04-01T09:22:00.000-07:00

Tatatatata... So boring. Mind filled with him. Thinking if i could hug him now that would be nice. I am really going crazy sia. Talking to my bao zheng. Haha i imagine that is him and start talking to it. Hug "him" tight tight then i go sleep. Today morning wake up say morning to "him" and hug "him" before washing up. Lalala make me so happy. I confirm siao liao... Must go IMH reserve one place just like what fincent want...

Haha i so zhuan yi okay. Faithful ^-^ I never anyhow go find guys. Anyway i also can't. Haha. Wulalala Wulalala. Everyday talk to "him" everyday very happy. And And i not despo okay, i just missed him. Tomorrow going check up le. So scary. They check here and there, do a lot of blood test, scan here and there, a lot of injections. Scary right? Haha actually just check up lah. Never so serious. =D

Never go out for long, i just realised MY HOUSE KEY IS MISSING!!!! OMG!!!!! Such important thing i forgot where i put... Very sad, the keychain very important. One and only =( Don't know what to do if cannot find.. Must go find it quick. Worried worried =.= What am i suppose to do...

2009-03-31T09:36:00.000-07:00

Yeah going to blog some pictures. =D

Is at my room's door. Who remember???

Is me!! Feel boring so took it. Too bad can't see the clothing...

Lalalalala me again ^^
So into pocky now...

^^ My favourites. Yeah=)

Breakfast ^-^

Medicine i take...

Haha. How my photography skills?? Not bad right. Actually i never take so many medicine lah. Some bluff bluff only. Hehe ^.^ My mind is full of him... Wonder how i can survive before i recover... All the chrysanthemum tea and apple smell. Haha. Woo his after work smell is weird. OIL!!! Okay what breakfast should i have today??? BREAD!!! HAHA!!

Strange i don't know what to blog le...Empty brain...Today shall do physics. Think about 5 minutes le i still don't know what to blog. Shall blog later or tomorrow. ^^

2009-03-30T23:38:00.000-07:00

So boring so decided to blog again.. Friends around don't worried about me. I am really okay. My life is great i guess. I still got a lot of things to eat.^^ Tomorrow start doing homework le. Yipee at least got something to do. Erm should clean up my house a bit. ^^ Tomorrow going be tired. Hope can wake up early so can get to use the computer before my brother wakes up and snatch from me.

Givan not feeling well lately. Wonder if she is okay. I know you will read my blog givan. Hope you don't make private blog so i still can read. Don't mind share with me right. ^^ I can keep secrets de leh. =D Even make must tell me lah. At least i use computer can still know where to go.

Missing joycelyn. She haven blog leh. All the same old thingy. Boring...

Thinking of money now. If only i can work, i will earn a lot lor. See doctor expensive sia. Got subdized still very ex leh. So xin tong. Once i am okay going work hard so i can pay them back.

Next time i will going to post a lot of photos. Haha let everyone i am really really okay. Let you see my rosy face. Haha i will post picture of me, food i eat, medicine i take [ let you all know how big the pill is scare scare you all ], thing i do and a lots more. =) Wonderful man. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Maybe add other things purposely like cockcoaches in my house?? Living with me?? Sleeping with me?? MUACKHAHAHAHA!!! I am going be bad girl!!!

La la la la la. Wonder how is he now?? How is his cutie cat?? How he studies?? So miss him...

2009-03-30T15:59:00.000-07:00

I am better now i guess. Thank from friends around keep giving me advice, suggestion and love. I decided so what if he got a new girl, i sick now so i can't do anything about it. Going to get well soon then think about how to get him back. Fine if i am stupid. I just think that i should try to get what i want even if it is going to be difficult. Not going to regret!!

Hold on to the memories now and try get him back next time. ^^ What to do? I am just too stupid. I just love him too much. I am serious in it. Going to miss him soo badly.

Get some homework and must finish it. I can't let what happening affect my future. I must try my best to catch up so i can take end year exam. I will not get lousy marks but good high marks like progress report 1. I want to beat my friend!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaa. Life is so wondeful now with foods around everyday!!! Going to gain lots of kg^^

Friends around must help me and tutor me arh. If can photocopy all the notes and worksheets and let me do. I cannot go school for months must help me okay. Thanks a lot ^^

2009-03-29T17:35:00.000-07:00

Having the thought i can have my family support. But i am wrong. Overheard them talking on the phone saying all the very bad things about me. Feel so sad so sad. Not going to talk about that here.

Wondering am i fortunate or not. They treat me good. But they didn't think good. Felt a bit that my family are actually despise me. Bringing shame to them.Sad sad sad. At that moment feel like dying.

Went some malay place saw some malay traditional thingy. Remember him saying will wear that and let me see during hari raya. Memories back...

I try to be brave and tell him the truth i still like him. He actually find another girl so soon. It hurt. Is he serious in me in the first place?? Maybe he is just toying around with my feeling... Heartbroken... Why cant my love be enough? Why must i still lose him...

2009-03-28T16:52:00.000-07:00

Time waits for no one..

2009-03-28T12:09:00.000-07:00

Today was supposed to be a day i will be very happy. But it all ended. Never mind i had a dream. A dream i hoped that it was real. I dream of going out with him happily. No stress, nothing. We walk around, slack at his house like what we used to do. It was so wonderful. Is a gift i guess. A gift for today. Never mind it just a dream. Once i wake up is gone. Reality is cruel.

Going to complain!!!!!!!!!

Why my house is soooooo hot!!! Who will actually sweat at their own house!!!!! And i was only sitting down there. My house is like a pot and everything inside is the food including ME!!! Someone is actually cooking me. OMG. Yesterday after a bath, i sit there and watch tv. Less than 5 minutes, my body is sweating like rainwater falling down.

"Rain rain" go away
Don't come again ever again

Sweating is terrible. =( Make me so irritated so frustrated. Sweat found on my nose, my neck, my leg, my hand, my tummy and between the "drain". (Girls might know what i am talking) EEEKKK so sticky!!! Somemore my fan is full blast!!! Cant take it!! IS MAKING ME GOING CRAZY!!!

2009-03-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

Why cant relationship last?? Why does feeling come and go as they like?? If only i can control my feeling to go away now, i wont be so sad at all. Avoiding me help last time but not now. You is the one that make me fall deep in love with you. Making me wanted to last long with you. Even thought of growing up and going perth together. Now you just like throwing me down the rooftop, crushing hopes and dreams i had with you.

I think of you non-stop. Even when i am sleeping, i dream of being with you. How do you expect me to forget you?? I did tried my best forgetting you. But it doesn't work. I didn't put in enough effort?? BULLSHIT!!!! I occupied my time fully. Sweep the floor, tidy up my room, use the computer, watch television show, keep eating, keep sleeping. I do all these just not to think about you. But whatever i do, indirectly it link to you. Almost all the thing we do, i never do with my ex. That why is so hard. Once you say, "life without you is not impossible, is just miserable." Since you know that, why are you leaving me now??

My mum is right. Guys are mean creatures. Saying "i love you, you the best". ASS!! The next minutes, "feeling disappeared, blah blah blah." They can do a lot of things to make the girl fall in love with him. They can also do anything to make the girl lost feeling or even hate him. Why guys can do it?? Why can't i do that?? If only i can make you love me again, i won't be feeling so depressed.

I really wanted to shut myself in my own world. A world i created. No guys, no relationships, no friends. What for i want a relationship that is sweet for 2-3 months and bitter for 2-3 months. NOT WORTH IT!!!! What for i have friends when i cant tell them my problem. *Friends that already know my problems avoided me...[ * is only for some]

2009-03-26T09:00:00.000-07:00

It happen. He don't want me anymore. It hurt so much. He going to leave me. I don't know what to do. I try to forget but it is so difficult. Just keep coming back.. "Memories"... I want him but he don't want me anymore. It really hurt although i can feel he going to say it. It hurt a lot a lot a lot. I don't want to face it. The truth SUCKS!!!! I hate the world. I only do one wrong thing why must i lose everything.

Saying feeling disappeared. Why cant he keep it in a box and lock it tight. Why must it let it disappeared. You are my support and you just left. Without you how am i going to face it? How am i going to make through these? Everything seems right with you by my side. How you expect me to forgot all so easily.

I cant go out. Everyday facing walls and ceilings. Mind just run wild bringing the past to me. This time is harder. I cant cry. I cant let my family worry about me. I know at this stage of me have to me happy. But i cant. My eyes hurt a lot. It burnings.

Why cant life just end??!!

2009-03-25T23:00:00.000-07:00

3 more days to my third month with baby. I miss him deeply. He seem to change. Maybe not interested in me anymore. Very very sad. Thought we can make through this but it is so difficult. I cant take it anymore. I cant hang on to him anymore. It seem like it is going to sink.

"Can you tell me how much you love me?? Can you don't leave me?? Can you stay here with me?? Can you don't break my heart?? Can you just say you love me and stay with me for a very long long time?? I just wanted to know you love me??"

2009-03-24T22:49:00.000-07:00

Missing the day i used to had. Going school every morning with baby giving me morning call. Haven go school for 2 days and it was unbearable. I miss all the fun i had with the guys and gals. Everyone been wanted to know what happen but what can i say. Is all my fault. I long for freedom wondering when can i have it back again.

I really miss baby. I haven seen him for more than one weeks. I really want him back. Baby i miss you and i dont want to leave you.

2009-03-17T03:12:00.000-07:00

Big thing happen and changes my life. I had lost a lot of things and learnt an important lesson. Regreted is what i can say now. It involved a lot of people and i am very sorry. I let you down and i know is very unfair to you.

I seriously in a confused states. I am going to miss my freedom, friends and you. I wonder how long it takes for things to be better. I will miss you guys.

Baby i am sorry. Make you involved in this. I really hope it wont affect your life and study too much.